What to do with the penis – a mothers prayer

What to do with the penis – a mothers prayer

Can I just say, little boys are gross. I know from personal experience that little girls are gross, and ok, let me not classify, I think overall a safe generalization is that kids are gross. But I’ve never been a little boy or paid attention to little boys and these guys…well I certainly have never spent so much time talking about, or seeing penises being waggled near my personal space.

Ugh. Is there anything worse than your little angel, the one you rocked to sleep while he cried, the one who I can heal with a magical kiss, the boy I’ve nursed and whose poo I’ve cleaned up a thousand times, asking you to check out his newly discovered pointy penis?

The answer, in case you were wondering, is no.

Oh Lord, son, please put that away and now let’s have a chat about respect for your mother and also privacy. And please also stop poking each other in the penis. And maybe we can all just stop talking about penises. Jesus.

Sorry Jesus.

I can’t even say I get it. I don’t. I mean, I know that boys love their penises and I guess I’m learning from first hand perspective how that works and at what an early age they come to love and obsess over their penis.

I could really use for these kids to curb that obsession around me.

I don’t want to shame him or have him embarrassed about any part of his body. But he does need to learn to keep that junk to himself. Ain’t nobody but me, your daddy and the doctor need to see that. And really I only want to see it if it’s troubling and then no, y’know what, lets go see your father.

We’ve been talking a lot about personal space and respecting the body, including and especially other peoples bodies. And we’ve been talking about the need to remain open and honest with each other so we can always be able to trust each other so we can talk about sex when that’s relevant. And I won’t lie to you if you don’t lie to me. And I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, but I don’t want you touching me if I’m not in the mood either. And don’t touch other people if they don’t want to be touched and certainly you never let anyone touch you on or near the penis.

And when we’re in public you do not refer to your penis and if for some reason you do have some undying need to discuss your penis, you can do so with me, privately, but really I’d rather not.

And I can damn guarantee that I am never, ever, ever, never going to be in the mood to check out your penis son. And finally I offer up a mothers prayer to please please please never ever ever let me hear your penis be a topic of broad discussion.



This article has 1 comment

  1. Same goes for Grammy

Leave a Reply